The rain hangs heavy in the morning sky.
The forecast is for showers all day, but we are saturated.
Is it an omen or a friend?
Will I find inspiration or despair?
I can only wait and see what the day holds.
I cannot control the outcomes, only myself.
I an re-learning this, day by day.
I fight for it.
I feel as if I am climbing up the mountain, and will attain the summit.
But I could just as easily slip, and fall.
Into oblivion. Into nothingness.
A place I have dreamed of for years.
But we are encourage not to give up. Not to accept defeat.
Certain days, I want to wave the white flag on my life. I want it all to stop.
Because I cannot be your perfect person, partner, daughter, friend or lover.
My mind is a bowl of eggs that have been scrambled, waiting for the hot pan.
But I hold onto the hope that every day will be better, despite the weather outside.
Or my brain.
It is the fight of my life.
The rain hangs heavy in the sky. What will come of it?
© Sorrow & Kindness