I feel pulled in so many directions. And I don't think I can please or satisfy any of the demands being made on me at the moment. My partner wants to come see me tomorrow - of course I want to see him, but with my world shaking under my feet, I feel my mind … Continue reading The Waves Keep Crashing Down
Today is my father's birthday. If you have not discerned from these posts, I have very little love for him. I don't even know if I can call home. My mother was released from the hospital a few days ago, and sent home with the guarantee that there would be 24/7 care and the bed … Continue reading Happy Freaking Birthday
My father could not awaken my mother yesterday. They rushed her to the hospital, which is probably the best place for her to be, since he's such an ass and cannot think of anyone but himself and how her condition - her deterioration into Alzheimer's means she can no longer care for him, as she … Continue reading Black Days
I took the first morning flight out of town on Thursday and had a layover in Atlanta. As I sat at my connecting gate I looked up at the television screen hovering above the chairs. To my horror, disbelief, utter bewilderment, I watched as a newscaster announced the death of Chris Cornell. No, it simply couldn't … Continue reading Ode to My Youth Disappearing – Chris Cornell
I am not allowed to "yell" or "express anger". FUCK THAT. I got a call from my partner this morning, as he was on his trek home from his mother's. I understand he is probably exhausted, spent. I am compassionate enough to feel these things and allow for others to just "be". Instead, what I … Continue reading Set It Off
I understand, to a point, why people who have been in this industry for years (and have stayed at the same institution) do not want to embrace change. They throw on the emergency break whenever someone has an idea, and the usual comeback is "it's never been done that way". They are afraid. Of what? … Continue reading Why?
I saw my therapist last week. God, I am so grateful I found her, though I wish she took insurance so I could see her more than once a month. I spent the first 10 minutes going through the litany of what all the "others" in my life want me to do - move back north, to … Continue reading Me, Myself and “I”